Feminism - Needs a make over

We need to make Feminism cool again!

A recent Huff post debate between Brogan Driscoll and Lucy Sherriff entitled Is Feminism Irrelevant For Women In Their Twenties? has been playing on my mind, a lot. 

Lucy Sherif opens her argument by stating that;

"As much as I hate to admit, this is still a man's world. But I don't think feminism is going to change it. Mention the f-word to many men, and indeed a fair few females, and watch their eyes roll. It's no longer a dirty word, it's the punchline of a joke."

As much as I hate to admit, on the second part regarding the main-stream trivialisation of feminism she has a point. However, my heart breaks at her fatalist opening statement;

"I don't think feminism is going to change it" 

Feminism used to be cool

She is - ironically sitting there a professional writer, educated, independent, paid (hopefully) the same as her male peers, with access to contraception, able to vote, own property, entitled to her inheritance and by law to equal opportunities in most area's of life. However, Lucy seems unable to connect the dots that feminism already 'has' changed it for her, for the better, women who came before did that for us, and now it it's our turn.

My retort to Lucy is a Kennedy-esq;

"Ask not what Feminism can do for you  - but ask what you Lucy Sherrif are doing for Feminism!" 

.......But I digress. 


Lucy continues on the same vein, 

"I don't like being called a feminist. I'm a woman. That's it. Just because I believe women should be equal doesn't mean I want to pick up a placard and protest. In fact, I'm not alone. I hadn't ever considered whether I was or wasn't a feminist until an English Literature lecture in my second year of university My (female, feminist) lecturer asked the 200-strong, mostly-female audience to raise their hands if they considered themselves a feminist. Two people did: the lecturer, and the annoying in-your-face feminist student."  

[*note her descriptions of both feminism and feminist student]

Why didn't Lucy and the other 198(?!) women in her class of presumably bright, educated young women raise their hands?  

Recently at a party I met and was chatting to an amazing bright and progressive minded young woman who was making valid and impassioned points about sexism in western medicine, feminists points in fact. 


However, when closing she eloquently underscored her points by saying; "Of course I don't want to come across like a feminist, because I'm not a feminist"

This statement shocked me.


Why didn't she feel she could say with confidence "Yes, I'm a feminist" and feel proud of that'?

Tracey Emin

I analysed this and rationalised that maybe as we'd just met she didn't want to frighten me in some way, not knowing my own view on feminism yet. 

Did she possibly feel she had to soften her impassioned views in case it came across as to aggressive?.....But what does that say?

Maybe she doesn't feel she can say 'I'm a feminist' with pride or maybe she genuinely doesn't feel she is a feminist, even whilst voicing highly feminist views. It was likely a fear of being instantly presumed militant. 

Is that why modern women are ashamed to be labelled feminists? 

Ryan Gosling the new face of feminism?

Movie star Ryan Gosling doesn't seem to mind on becoming a feminist icon. Due to when he spoke about why Blue Valentine was receiving a harsh rating because of a scene where he performs oral sex on Michelle Williams. 

He pointed out that when a woman performs oral sex on a man in a movie, the ratings board deems that R-worthy, but if the genders are reversed, the rating is stricter.

“ ‘Black Swan’ has an oral scene between two women, and that’s an R rating,” he told the World Entertainment News Network, “but ours is between a husband and his wife, and that’s NC-17?" 



To me this is a great example of what being a feminist means - thinking about equality, how it's treated in our society, questioning things and asking - is that fair?

Unfortunately, I see feminist bashing going on all the time on forums, blog comments and in social media from both men and women, especially as I've been supporting the recent campaigns No More Page 3 and the Everyday Sexism project.  The misconceptions about what being a feminist means astonish me, as does the bile and hatred directed towards feminism.

If ever anyone wants evidence that sexism is still rife, therefore making feminism still very relevant, then read some of the comments left on the No More Page 3 facebook page.

Equally, I am constantly amazed by the hate filled comments that any moderate article about female equality unearth on

Huff post and Guardian. What's interesting is that the anger doesn't come from 'angry feminists' at all. It actually comes from angry non-feminist men and some women

Why are mainstream men and women so angry about feminism?

Why do they feel it threatens them so much?

Subverting stereotypes Asma Gull Hasa

And are such factors are at play in why young women automatically believe feminism is it's a bad thing?

I remember as a adolescent asking an older man what a feminist was and being told;
"Angry, short haired, bra burning, comfortable shoe wearing women, who complain a lot and no-body fancies" he chuckled. 

Ashley Judd

This image is still propagated and feminism needs to break away from it.

We need to create a more diverse and visible modern face of feminism. Whilst individual efforts are being made, they're not really mainstream ready yet. 

I'm more of the Caitlin Moran style feminist myself, happy to stand on a chair and shout;
"I'm a strident feminist"... in my stiletto's of course.

However, this often seems to shock people both men and women.
Again I ponder why this is, why are they so shocked I mean, I'm an opinionated, hard-working, intelligent, modern woman.....Erm...does a bear shit in the woods! 

Of course I'm going to be a feminist!! 

But when I state that openly and shamelessly with a smile, people will remark agog;

Bill Bailey 

"oh lord, you're not really are you?"

Maybe it's because I don't look and sound like the old stereotype of  'a feminist', but what does that mean?

People still want to desperately reinforce that stereotype. As soon as I say I'm feminist people like to jump on me to prove that I can't possibly be.

"No you're not" they will declare in loud voices.....
"You wear make-up, and pretty dresses you can't be a feminist".

Men often like to comment on things such as "You read Grazia, isn't that totally against the feminist agenda you hpycropite!"

Now which feminist agenda might that be exactly?

Maybe that's part of the problem and were the confusion lies, there's no single feminist manifesto, maybe as part of the feminist makeover we should forge one.

Simple enough agenda

I mix in pretty liberal circles, however I'm yet to meet a man who would openly declare himself a feminist either. Why is this? 

Of course the feminist movement hasn't helped itself either over the last two decades and petty, hair splitting and in-fighting is still rife. Whilst I don't think just because I'm a woman I should automatically agree with all other women on all subjects.

Issues like the who's a 'real' feminist and a 'life style' or 'lipstick' feminist still rage on. As does the 'stay at home verses working Mum' debate encouraged in the mainstream media that tirelessly pitches one camp of women against the other, these only serve to fuel the anti-feminist lobby. 

Let's stop taking the bait ladies, both are fine life choices, neither is right or wrong, let's stop wasting our time auguring with each other about the minutia and focus our energies on the greater good.....

Making feminism cool and relevant so that our nieces, daughter's and twenty-something women at large once again aspire to be Feminists.

Barack Obama - pretty famous feminist

I started thinking back to what I thought of feminism when I was in my twenties.

Poisoned by the toxic misogynistic, hip-hop, lads-mags pop-culture of the 90's, I am ashamed to say I can remember, actually sitting in a feminist theory lecture, rolling my eyes and day dreaming about whether I should get a boob job or shave off all my pubic hair. I'd been led to believe that everything was already equal and sorted and wearing a sparkly thong alone mean't I was liberated women in control of her life????!!!!

Unfortunately, for us unenlightened in youth much of your twenties revolved around getting blokes and the message society sends, certainly in the 90's was boys don't like feminists. 

We were led by popular culture to believe feminist are aggressive, unattractive and troublesome and that men don't want that. Instead, what men want is a passive, dolly bird, porn stars who'll let them shag them up the bum. Has much changed today, I wonder? 

Even feminist writer Natasha Walter made this mistake in the 90's stating;

"I once believed that we only had to put in place the conditions for equality for the remnants of old-fashioned sexism in our culture to wither away. I am ready to admit that I was wrong.'

She explores this further in her excellent book Living Dolls - The return of Sexism  - which is in many ways a rebuttle of her own theories in the book The New Feminsm from 1998. In Living Dolls, Walter insightfully explores the impact that legacy has had on our current hyper-sexualised, disempowering culture. 

Like Lucy, in my 20's I didn't see the relevance of feminism or the feminist theory I'd been taught. However it's relevance has played out significantly in practice in my real life.

It wasn't until I got out into the world and tried to forge my own way that I started getting my head around the practical aspects of feminism and how important it was to my everyday life.

Gradually, through real life experience - having been sexually harassed by my male boss in my first job. Then through the years suffering some kind of gender discrimination in every subsequent job, even when changing industries and rising to senior management. 

I've had 20 year old new employees tell me ipso facto on their first day that they were 'alpha males' and shouldn't have to report to a woman, to board members asking me if I was the tea lady just as I was about to start presenting. I've had random strangers on the bus opine that "There's no point in educating women as they 'just have babies', and had to suffer taxi drivers rant how women shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel, whilst simultaneously driving the wrong way up a one way street.

Having to put up with regular groping, name calling and threatening behaviour just by walking down the street, on the tube or in a bar. Always having to work harder, be better, not get emotional, prove myself more than male peers and suffering the disadvantage of not having the golf/football/rugby/ lap dancing club chat as a networking aid.

And now as I face the fact that having a family means I will slip behind my male peers in both future promtions and earnings with each child I have. Whilst feeling like a failure should I need to return to work or choose to be a stay at home Mum. Worried I  won't achieve super-yummy-loose-all-the-baby-weight-launch-my-own-cup-cake-business-Mummy status. 

Whilst, wondering why all girls toys are pink princesses and boys are all blue superhero's and why Rihanna is happy to be such a victim and simulate sex in every music video. 

Feminism suddenly seems to REALLY matter.

Unravelling social constructs and reconciling all the contradictions of what 'being a woman in the modern world means' has often been a confusing journey and still is daily. However,  I'm in a much more comfortable place with myself and my own feminism than I was in my twenties.

In fact there's lots I didn't care about in twenties that is very important to me now. 
For example I didn't give a shite about red wine in my twenties either, Malbec or Rojas who cared, shocking bright red and blue Bacardi breezer's was the drink of the day, the thought of which now makes me want to vom. I acquired a taste for red wine over many years during my late twenties and thirties.

So maybe all is not lost for Lucy Sherriff and her ilk -  maybe Feminism is like red wine the appreciation of which only comes to you in time and with life experience.